Life is a continuous learning experience. One of the most interesting questions I like to ask elderly people is what life lessons they have learned. It’s also a question I often ask myself.
When people talk about shopping in Finland, they ask each other how much stuck to them along the way. I love this playfulness in the language. I picture myself walking through Citymarket or Prisma supermarket while moomin mugs, iittala plates and tupla chocolate bars jump out of the shelves all on their own and somehow get fastened on my clothes while I walk to the register. The longer I stay in the shop, the more I have at the end.
Life lessons just might stick to us in a similar way, as we walk through life, but I have noticed that only a small number of people take the time to ponder such issues.
We all have our days in the valley and those on the mountain tops. No matter where our journey takes us, we pick up important lessons along the way.
I have heard people say that there are some lessons that come too late, catching them off-guard and unprepared. I have even heard others say they wish they had the wisdom of a life lived, but their life still ahead of them.
When I think of the life I have lived so far, I can pinpoint life-lessons I have learned along the way. Each season in my life seems to have a major lesson attached to it. Some lessons I learned quickly; others took a long time to learn.
One of the hardest life lessons I have had, which has taken a lifetime to learn, is to accept the things I cannot change. I’m a doer. I find it easy to change things that I can change. But to know when something cannot be changed, but simply must be accepted, that has been a hard life lesson for me. I think I’ve come a long way since my younger days, but I know I still have a little way to go until I can honestly say I have learned this lesson.
Yet, it’s this life lesson that has brought me the most peace and happiness in my life. Accepting that things don’t always go the way I want them to go, and when they don’t, instead of fighting it, I learn to accept it. This brings great comfort along with it.
I guess it was just a natural progression, but after a process of learning to accept things the way they are, I was happy on the mountaintops on sunny days and gloomy when walking through the valleys on rainy days.
I shouldn’t be surprised that my next life lesson was to learn to dance in the rain!
Song writers Bruce Haynes and James Payne have captured it well in their song: “Storms will come to us all, Well, I’ve found the answer From heartache to cancer.. through it all, I’m learning to dance in the rain! When the clouds start to gather, bringing bad weather, There’s no silver lining in sight, When your prayers have been prayed and the answers delayed, And you’re holding on for dear life… you’ll solve the mystery By learning to dance in the rain!”
Learning to dance in the rain has been the life lesson I have been learning this year.
My husband Peter had a heart attack that nearly killed him, while I was waiting for him to join me for a holiday on the other side of the world. He needed a triple bypass open heart surgery. Do I wait, or do I start dancing now?
I have, only early this year, come out of a two-year period where my health had deteriorated to a point where I saw no way through. And although I feel better now than I have been in years, I know I have brain tumours that require surgery soon.
I ask myself the question, Do I wait, or do I dance now?
Vivian Greene has a famous quote: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain”.
And then it occurred to me! It’s not in the life’s journey where I’m learning, but it’s in the dance itself!
Jerome Murphy says: “Dancing implies action marked by skill and grace. You may be feeling bad because of the rain in your life, but you can still take action that makes you come alive”.
You can’t stop the rain. You can only turn your face up and let it rain down.
And Fred Astaire has said: “Anyone who thinks that only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”.
So, let it rain, because life isn’t about how I survived the storm, it’s about how I learn to dance in the rain! I won’t wait for the rain to be over because it might take too long. I can learn to dance right now. Life is a blend of laughter and tears, a combination of rain and sunshine. Why not dance in every weather?
A sudden rain is always there reminding me once again that I’m not in control, but I can choose to learn how to dance in the rain. I will smell the rain and feel the wind!
I’ll let you know when I work out the life lesson behind the dance!
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Apples of Gold 
This is the lesson I am learning too, slowly but surely. A couple of days ago I listened to an Estonian Lutheran minister and he said he feels the contemplative life is not about setting goals but about learning to live in the present moment, about being willing to welcome pain (what am I learning) and about relationships being what is most important, though we cannot hang on to even these. I find it hard not to be in control but I’m learning to trust that after death of any kind, comes life. Christ in us. Thank-you!
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What wise teaching from the Estonian Lutheran minister! It is hard to not be in control, yes. I remember after my car accident, a wise counsellor said to me that my life would be a whole lot easier if “instead of fighting it, I learned to ride the wave”. I guess my life since then has been exactly that, learning to ride the wave. Easier said than done. Thank you for your thoughts Anne-Marie!
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Just read this. Amazing really. It is by James Finley from his book, ‘The Contemplative Heart’ and he quoted Thomas Merton.
“Contemplative wisdom discerns that we hinder ourselves in our ongoing self-transformation when we catch ourselves expounding, through clenched teeth, the principles of a dance that our own self-absorbed rigidity will not let us dance. But no matter how foolish and broken we may be, compassionate love is always ready to drain the fear-based rigidity out of the situation to the point that we might begin to recognize our ever present invitation to join in the general dance of God, one with us in our brokenness. The dance never ceases to stir within us, beating “in our very blood whether we want it to or not.” [2] The dance is deathless, childlike, and free; an infinite Presence wholly poured out in and as the concrete immediacy of who we simply are, beyond grasping in any way whatsoever. [3]”
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You have once again given me food for thought! I love it! “The dance never ceases to stir within us!” I kind of worked out I’d soon start learning about the significance of the dance! Instead of the “storm” teaching me, I am beginning to understand it’s the “dance” itself that will be teaching me. Thank you!
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Also to you….both of us learning to dance….
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Yes, it’s a process!
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At the risks of over complicating things, I wonder if just as light is both a wave and a particle, so is the dance…..The dance is always stirring within us and we are also learning to dance…I wonder if it is more about surrendering to the dance, losing ourselves in it, which of course we cannot do on our own. It happens unexpectedly out of the blue and it is a gift of grace. We find ourselves swept up in something bigger than ourselves.
I’m also thinking of Rowan Williams and his series of talks called ‘The Body Knows’. It is only the body which is able to be in the present moment. The mind is always darting here and there, into the past or into the future as I well know. The heart too….Maybe when we are in our bodies, we have a chance of allowing ourselves to be held. We become more aware that God is breathing through us and in us. All is well!
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These are great thoughts! Worth pondering! Maybe it’s more about letting go, rather than learning.
I like Rowan Williams’ thoughts as well. The secret seems to be in becoming like children.. Jesus himself said: …”unless you change and become like little children…whoever humbles themselves like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven”. A child is able to be present in the moment.
I think of my two year old granddaughter. She sits on my lap and allows to be held. Every time I spend time with her, I learn from her. And how I adore watching her dance!
I think you have some great pearls here. It does happen unexpectedly, out of the blue and it’s a gift of grace!
The times that I have felt like I’m dancing in the rain, when somehow supernaturally I have felt peace and joy despite the struggles I am going through, I know I have been swept up in something much bigger than myself!
I think about the absolute peace and calm that Peter (my husband) faced his open heart surgery, how he was able to even calm me every time I spoke to him on the phone, I know was not his own efforts of learning to dance in the rain, but it came from outside of him, as a gift of grace. He surrendered to the dance and he lost himself in it. It was a powerful testimony to me and a gift of grace to both of us.
We became aware that God was indeed breathing through us and in us!
I had this picture in my mind of us sitting in a rollercoaster asleep!
Thank you Anne-Marie! You have blessed me this morning!
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Always dance in the rain! Whether physically, mentally or metaphorically. You spread your arms out, close your eyes, lift you face to the sky and twirl around. Its like feeling God touching you and giving you some sort of peace. Sounds childish, I know but every chance I get, I have danced in the rain physical, mentally and metaphorically. I hope it rains at least once while I’m there. We are going to go outside and dance in the rain together like our inner little girls. While it’s more of a physical experience, believe me when I say it puts everything you’ve said into perspective. Mawmaw always said “there are always sayings for everything but when you can actually experience those sayings physically it makes them saying come to life.”
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Your mawmaw indeed was a wise woman! What a fantastic saying! I love the wisdom of it!
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Ummm let me correct that…🤭
Mawmaw always said “there are always sayings for everything but when you can actually experience those sayings physically it makes them come to life.”
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Yes!!
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Dancing in the rain is an art form I would love to learn. I have not accomplished it yet, but I’ll keep trying.
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Maybe we can’t even do it in our own strength. Maybe it’s a gift of grace. Before I left to Finland, I remember repeating time and time again to Peter: “It’s beginning to rain!” I just felt so strongly that it was about to start raining in our lives. My thoughts went along the line of showers of blessings. We so badly needed those showers of refreshing after the two years we had just had. I didn’t know that the rain was about to pour, especially on Peter. Blessings can come in so many different forms. Maybe that’s where the saying: Blessings in Disguise comes from. Maybe it’s like Anne-Marie says, and it’s not so much about us learning to dance as surrendering ourselves to the dance. Maybe we will never learn to dance in the rain from our own strength. Maybe all we need to do is let go, surrender and receive. I don’t know, I’m only just learning about all this myself. But one way or another, dancing in the rain seems to be the life-lesson for me at this time in my life.
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Just thought of the ‘Lord of the Dance’ hymn. Here is the refrain:
Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.
And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be, And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.
We don’t actually have to get the steps right….
Thank-you for all your comments….
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This is true! We do not have to get all the steps right!
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