I’m the kind of person who remembers anniversaries — not only the joyful ones, but the ones that mark life’s deep turning points. I’ve always been this way. Certain days settle into my bones and refuse to be forgotten. They become quiet markers along the road — places where life changed direction.
These moments help me reflect. They steady me. They remind me not to rush past what matters. They whisper: “Do not take this life for granted”.
There is one such day etched into my memory — the day I was told I had breast cancer. I think of it as my personal “pink ribbon day.” Each year, I honour it quietly — wearing something pink, pausing in gratitude, allowing myself to remember. It’s a small gesture, but it carries deep meaning. Because being here — simply being here — is something I no longer assume.
I still remember hearing the words no one ever wants to hear: “I’m sorry, but you have breast cancer.”
They arrived at an already fragile time in my life. I had just walked through the heartbreak of separation. Anyone who has endured the breakdown of a marriage knows how lonely that season can be — how the nights stretch long and heavy, how silence presses in. I remember lying awake, feeling adrift — without an anchor — crying out to God to spare my life.
When my oncologist told me he feared the cancer may have spread to my brain, something inside me shattered. Hope drained away in an instant. I broke in a way that is still difficult to fully describe. Those days of anguish and desperation remain vivid — close enough to touch. It was the darkest season of my life. Living felt unbearable, yet the thought of not living was even more so.
And yet… here I am.
Still here. Still breathing. Still walking forward into a life that has held both heartbreak and astonishing beauty.
When I look back, I see all that I would have missed — the birth of my grandchildren, their tiny fingers curling around mine, trips to my beloved Finland where my roots run deep, quiet family moments that shimmer with meaning. These are the treasures that fill my days now. Proof that life, even when cracked and complicated, can still be rich and radiant.
Life has not been perfect. There have been other sorrows, other valleys to cross. But there have also been moments of joy so pure they take my breath away. Every morning I wake up, I am reminded that life is a gift. Not always easy. Not always gentle. But always precious.
So I pause. I remember. I give thanks.
I honour those whose lives have been cut short by breast cancer. I carry them in my heart. I do not know why mine was found early, why I was given more time. But I do know this — I will not waste it. I will not treat another sunrise as ordinary.
Throughout it all, my faith in God has been my anchor. In my despair, I called out to Him. Slowly — sometimes painfully slowly — He led me forward, step by fragile step, out of shadow and toward light. I am deeply grateful for the strength He placed within me, for the hope that refused to die, for the quiet mercies that met me in the dark.
Without Him, I would not be here — cherishing the laughter of grandchildren, the warmth of family, the scent of flowers in bloom, the beauty of another ordinary day.
My story was not over.
And I have come to believe that none of our stories are random. Every step — the valleys, the mountains, the unanswered questions — carries purpose beyond what we can see. Even the chapters we would never choose become part of a greater unfolding.
Life, in all its messiness and beauty, is still the most wonderful gift of all.
And I intend to treasure it.
Apples of Gold 
This touched my heart. Happy pink ribbon day. What a beautiful tribute to faith and using tests in life to be a testimony. I can relate in every way! God bless you!! 💕
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Thank you so much for your comment!! It means a lot to me! God bless you too!
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You’re welcome! Thank you, too! ❣️🙏🏼
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It was in the night through the storms of my life where God proved His love for me.
The anchor holds.
Through it all, the anchor holds.
Through, will always be the story, of our God whose power and mercy, never fails to take us through.
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Yes!!
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So grateful…Yes, indeed! And yes, you have a purpose and sometimes, it feels so elusive, but it is there. I love this poem although it doesn’t mention the joys that we have along the way:
The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among things that change. But it doesn’t change. People wonder about what you are pursuing. You have to explain about the thread. But it is hard for others to see. While you hold it you can’t get lost. Tragedies happen; people get hurt or die; and you suffer and get old. Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread.
~ William Stafford ~
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Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.
You’re absolutely right—our purpose can sometimes feel elusive, like trying to hold onto something just out of reach.
But I love the reminder in this poem that there’s always a thread to hold onto, even through life’s changes and tragedies.
And while it doesn’t mention the joys, I believe they’re woven into the thread, giving it colour and richness along the way.
It’s a lovely perspective to hold onto, and I truly appreciate you sharing it with me!
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Thanks so much!
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Incredible Janna!!!!!
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Thank you!
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Kiitos rohkaisevista sanoistasi. Toivotan sinulle edelleen voimia, iloa, terveyttä ja vahvaa uskoa Vapahtajaamme. Erica
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Kiitos, Erica!
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Dear Jaana. You share your stories with raw honesty and written so clearly ; that touches my heart. Sim
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Thank you so much for your encouragement, Sim!!
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I just want to add something which I tend to forget. There is truth in what I am saying and yet, there is also the sense we never fully know our true purpose and so as humans, we live in the tension in between, which is a kind of dissatisfaction. We often try not to be dissatisfied, but therein lies the difficulty because we fill our lives up too quickly with what we think will satisfy us and it never does. Just thoughts…
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Good thoughts!
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